A Message to Heaven – 4

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Who would have thought that 122 days would bring me to where I am today?

Who would have thought that they would linger and yet fly by?

I can’t believe 4 months have already passed by, yet time still feels heavy at the thought of you gone. I miss you so much, Julie. Life has not been the same and yet everything keeps changing.

I don’t know if you’d be proud of where I am today or if you would give me that look I know too well (I miss a lot, too) to let me know I’m heading towards a disaster. I miss every minute I did not get to spend with you, but this is how life goes, this is how it works- it suddenly and abruptly, without prior notice takes away from you. It eliminates.
They told me that in loss you gain. That after a loss you find replacement. How do I ever replace you? You’re one of a kind. You are my best friend. You were not brought to this life to be replaced.

I only find solace in knowing you are in a much better place and I promise you, I’ve been doing my very best to make sure I meet you there.

I am resuming all the things I held back in hopes we would do them together. I am moving on and it’s scary. It’s the scariest thing I ever had to do, but I know I have to do it, for you. I am moving on, but I am not letting go.

I found strength in funny places and in strangers – People who never met you, but loved you anyway.

I can’t wait to see you again :) I hope you’re flying, sweetheart.

قال صلى الله عليه وسلم فيما يرويه عن ربه عز وجل: “إن الله تعالى يقول يوم القيامة : أين المتحابون بجلالي اليوم أظلهم في ظلي يوم لا ظل إلا ظلي

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