A Gateway

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Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good.
~Johnny Miller

I am not a fan of going away with my parents. Even if it were Hawaii.
They would still hang out with their boring friends and I would turn into a walking zombie who has to socialize with nagging 45 year old couples who fight at every chance to make me end up with any of their sons.
See, I love people, and sometimes these people have really interesting stories, but these stories become interesting only because when away with family the interesting-o-meter hits rock bottom.

I am going away for the next 5 days with my parents to Hurghada- Sahl Hashish to be more specific. Somewhere I’ve been looking forwards to visiting for a long time now, and by no mean will I allow anything or anyone to ruin this chance for me. inshallah!

I want to have hours of quietness and peace of mind on the beach while desperately begging the sun to pigment my skin for a change (I hardly ever get a tan; my skin texture!)
I want to read my new book and listen to the music I love without being obliged to showing up to dinners or boring gatherings.
I WILL NOT go on that yacht and listen to babbling women.
I will talk to strangers and I will make new friends.
I will be nice to the staff and I will smile at everyone.
I will blow off the dust that has accumulated on my shelved thoughts and I will resolve my deepest concerns.
I will scribble down random thoughts in my diary and I will not keep anything inside of me.
And I will not come back unless it’s a clear mind.

This is more than a trip with family; this is a gateway- a one that I’ve been looking forwards to for so long.

I will come back with no regrets or worries.
And all that I forget, is forgiven.

Meanwhile, I will still miss my boyfriend and whine about it!

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“She will be there tomorrow”

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And she wasn’t!

Go tell them you love them.

Go.

Celebrate their lives while they’re here; with all the word carries with meaning.
While they know and feel it.

Agony and sadness will feed on your insides. And the hole in your heart will never close again.
Even if all reversed, the hole will always stay as a reminder of what went wrong.. and what you could have done better.

And you’ll find yourself leaving a note on a band-aid in hopes it would be read one day despite the irony.

I am sorry I am not half the friend I should be.

I miss you.

Not

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Much as some things are better left unsaid, some things are better left unchanged and some others should be left untouched.

Revolution is not the only trend we follow. Sometimes serenity is all what we should look for.

This is not passive, this is a thought of a clear mind. A very clear mind.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.