How You Lived


When your name is brought up, most people ask me about what happened and how did you die.

I almost always answer with how you lived.

And how you still live on in places only a lucky few can revisit.

Sometimes I feel blessed to have my heart break over your loss. It means I had you. It means I still have you.




I look at myself in the mirror and quite often do things change.

I look at your pictures though and everything is holding still. Everything is well preserved on a coloured piece of paper that signifies a great memory a few years ago. You ceased to exist in the physical sense, but my longing for a reunion grows everyday.

I thought I was never going to survive your loss. But I did. And I lost a lot of things along the way to stand where I am today. Oh, how I miss you Julie. How I miss everything!

In your absence, my heart is incomplete. You will always be my greatest friend. You will always be 18. And you will always look forwards to your 21st birthday (in a very twisted manner).

It became worn out to think or say that nobody gets me the way you used to, but it is the truth. And until I see you again, certain things I will just not talk about.

I pray to God you’re happy. I hope you’re flying.