To love is to be vulnerable. To love you is to be vulnerably safe.
And so it is… :)
Sometimes in life you’re thrown more than one option at a time. It usually confuses you and you really don’t know which one to take. And it might sound out of the ordinary, but you have to follow what your heart is telling you to do– what makes you feel happy despite any downsides.
He loved me at my worst. You had me at my best, yet you chose to break my heart.
So here I am, realising each day that I made the right decision, that I left heartache behind, waited for what’s worth it and that you, you always make me happy.
I am so uninspired. I can’t let my pen run down the page so that I can copy what I write and publish it.
I am so uninspired.
Today though, was a very weird day. It started off with a presentation I knew nothing about and yet aced, following was a lab final exam and a test tube filled with boiled Anise exploded over my left thigh, then I had to run and finish a final project but instead I spent half an hour in the bathroom throwing up.
I then received sorrowful news about a good friend’s grandmother who passed away (May she rest in peace) after struggling with several illnesses for long. I only met the woman through her grandson’s words, and I loved her because of how much he cared for her. I can’t quite translate how I felt when I received the news because technically I’m in no place to feel any pain… but that part of me I’ve tried to suppress for too long, that part which experienced loss of loved ones managed to take over for a little while.
At 4.30, I was waiting for one of my close friends at arrive to her surprise party. Yes, death and surprise parties; interesting combination. It was really fun, I got to catch up with friends I haven’t had time to see in the past period. It proved to me, once again, that I’m a people’s person; I only get better when I’m with a lot of people, which is something I learned to love about myself.
Although there were many moments along the day where I had a genuine smile on my face, the ghost of Death is roaming around my head.
I think about life and death and measure our acceptance to each. Death is not the opposite of life, it is a part of life. A part we’ve not yet explored and thus do not understand and it is only natural to fear what we do not understand. But with the right attitude we can make life beautiful. With this same attitude, can death not be the same?
I don’t think so! Days pass by and we don’t literally get over it, we just get used to the loss, and the gap is filled as the days go by, yet, remains that little hole, that the gap is getting tighter around, to remind you that pain is inevitable.
This is to honour those I’ve lost: family, friends and strangers; sometimes I think about how much I miss you and I can’t help but feel sorry for myself, then I think about all the other people who missed out on getting to know you and I can only feel sorry for them. May you all rest in peace :)
She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she’s the reason you wish you were an only child.
Today is the last day I’m going to let anyone assume that I’m an only child.
I HAVE A SISTER!
A sister that I love and adore, and I fail to imagine how life would be without her, for a moment. Despite the many times where the thought of strangling her seems so appealing, whenever she’s away for even a couple of days, I become the most miserable loneliest person on the planet.
This sister, this amazing sister, Merna Nafea, will always carry a bit of my childhood, the best bit of it. I fail to imagine how people keep going in this life without a sister by their side, to lean on, to count on and definitely to TELL ON!
Merna, you grew up so fast, it seems like yesterday we were playing catch on the beach and fighting over who watches what on TV. Hold on to your tender years, it’s not long before you find yourself missing them.
I love you
Today you turned one. It’s been 365 days of utter sunshine :)
Salma, you out of all people helped me most with your innocent giggles during any rough patch. You bring happiness to wherever place you are in and you are a fresh breath of delight to those who see you.
First time that you smiled I was told that we have the exact smile, since then, I knew that I can’t afford losing it. For you.
When you are old enough to read and understand this, you’ll still be beautiful, you’ll still be wearing that heavenly smile and you still will be my own ray of sunshine :)
I love you princess ♥
You did it to me, I did it to you and what the hell did it prove: That we both care about each other.
I was there, I was right there for you to hold me… But it’s okay, because I never left.
Just this time, you’ll have to find me.
The funny thing is; you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to smile, you don’t have to look at me and you don’t have to be around… All it takes is a simple thought of you and I’m happy.
I didn’t get to choose. You found me, although you don’t know it yet, but you found me.
For me and for everyone who would hear about this, you are the person who is so right and so wrong at the same time. You are the person whom I love too much yet they drive me crazy better than anyone else, and maybe it all adds up to your charm.
The wonderful thing about this is; unlike any other “falling” story, I’ve learnt to know you so quickly. Even if I don’t know you inside out, I know how deep the waters could get, and so when I started seeing myself through your eyes, that brought out the best in me… and it’s like, it’s almost like falling in love with myself.
I never set expectations and yet, so far, you’re quite an exception.
You, out of everyone who I thought might one day do it, you make me happy.