Scars grow on you, literally. You don’t mind seeing them in time. And the fact that they cover up for a wound that hurt you so bad once, should only leave you grateful, not fearful or in a state of reminisce.
I could have held in grudge. In fact, I could have taken revenge and I would have taken it well. I could have resented the person who broke my heart and turned their life into a chain of unfortunate happenings. This invincible power would have only eaten me up on the inside too. I chose to forgive. I chose to let go. I chose to let karma handle this one. I freed myself from the power this pain had on me.
I was left with no choice but to be strong. My world was falling apart already. I had to either pick up the pieces, man up and move on to a much better place or dwell in sadness and eventually vanquish into the hell I set for myself. I chose the first option. I tested my true strength and I did not fail myself.
Ironically, I found trails of where my heart has always dragged me back to. I dusted off the deserted corners of my mind and watered the plant I thought had died a very long time ago.
I was rewarded for giving up on sadness and heartache. I was rewarded for being true to myself. I was rewarded for strength and patience. And I was mainly rewarded because I found solace in God.
I didn’t ask for anything but justice, and that’s all I can see and feel now.
I am happier than I could have ever been and more content with the fact that THIS is my life than I can ever be done with in thanks.
My heart is at peace with where I am heading and my mind is at ease with my words. I don’t have to try and yet I want to try everything to make things right. I’ve reached a new beginning; one that we’ve had on hold for a very long time, but for all the right reasons.
And laughter doesn’t shatter my heart anymore. It just feels right, with all the depth and meanings this word could carry.
I have Julie Farouk -May she rest in peace- to thank for all of this :)
I wear my scars gracefully. I wear my patience in a content smile.
And like my dad always says: Love ends, to begin again.