I might always complain that my dad’s constant travelling and work routine affects our relationship- and that we lost the perfect father-daughter relationship we had when I was younger, but then again, I was easier to deal with and handle back then. Sometimes I fail to handle my own outbursts!
Of course there is always something missing in the house when he is not home, the day is not complete without him asking me to fix a cup of coffee, and TV is not loud and left open at any given point in time- and frustrating as this TV thing might be to my mother; when he travels, I find her leaving the TV really loud. I like to think she does that subconsciously; that automatically it makes her feel safer.
Today I hit rockbottom at needing my father to be right here right now. I cried so hard when I woke up and he wasn’t home to drive me to university when I had missed the bus. I hated needing someone else and I wouldn’t dare call my mum who has left like an hour early due to her very far work place.
Most definitely I hated being let down by someone I wanted to rely on, but I was very frustrated that I couldn’t find my dad and ask him to drop me where I wanted to be. I cried like a 5 year old until I realized crying is not going to fix anything. He is the one person I can always trust would never let me down- although I wish I have someone else, my father is more than I can ask for.
I never thought I would say this. And I never thought that needing my papa would be that extreme especially at such a small matter. I cried like I had lost him. Life without him is very hard. very. He never makes me feel bad about anything I do- he believes in me and inspires me, I get my strength from him.
My father is the person I love unconditionally, and always will. He’s always made us feel how proud he is of being “Abou El Banat” in a society like ours, typically sexist. He’s shown unconditional and extremely selfless love to my mother and tricked my sister and I into thinking that all men should be the same. He is one in a million.
I now understand it very well when they say that a girl’s first love is her father. He is her first and her last and every type of man that should count in between. He’s been through a lot to get her where she’s started. I appreciate that the immense amount of effort my father invests in his work is to provide us with the lifestyle he wants for us.
My father is my hero although he might never believe. I love you Papi <3